How I got my bottle-guzzling, breast-phobic baby to love nursing

Welcome, Readers of February’s Carnival of Breastfeeding! After you read this, check out the other great posts on the theme of “Overcoming Breastfeeding Challenges” linked at the bottom of this post.

I’ve spent more than enough time dwelling on all the things I did wrong after my son was born, as you can read in my earlier post, When breastfeeding begins badly, and what I should have done about it. Here’s what I’ve learned from my experience, and in the work I’ve done with breastfeeding moms since then:

1. Many (but not all) breastfeeding problems can be prevented.
2. Nearly any breastfeeding problem can be overcome with help from an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC),  enough support at home, and determination.

I did it.  Here’s my story about how we fixed our breastfeeding problems.

But wait. It’s really important for me to write a disclaimer here. Every mother-baby couple is unique. What was recommended for me might not work for you. I share my story not to give advice, but to let you know that if things are going badly, there is still hope! Don’t give up; get help. If you’re having problems, don’t put off seeing a lactation consultant. The sooner you get help, the easier it will be.

Our breastfeeding problems, in a nutshell

My son nursed very poorly for his first few days of life. Then, I developed serious postpartum complications and my doctor advised me to stop breastfeeding for a week (I  “pumped and dumped” to keep the milk coming) while on medications. When I tried to resume nursing after a week of the bottle, my baby would arch his back, cry, and push away when I offered the breast. We went on for what felt like ages like this, while I was heavily supplementing my baby with formula and crying at nearly each nursing attempt.

There was no single, quick fix, but rather a succession of measures prescribed over a period of several weeks by the lactation consultants I saw. Here are the steps we took, under professional guidance.

Get the baby on the breast ASAP. Even though that meant using a nipple shield.

I was adamantly opposed to nipple shields at first, but I learned that sometimes, these are just the right tool. Not only was he barely latching, but my nipples were bleeding from the failed attempts. Taking the breast with a nipple shield is infinitely better than no breastfeeding at all. So we got my son onto the breast, while I pumped after feedings for his supplements to try to build my milk supply. But this wasn’t enough- after awhile my milk still wasn’t increasing and he wouldn’t take the breast well without the nipple shield. Back to see the lactation consultant.

Get a really, really deep latch.

The lactation consultant said I was doing a pretty good job of bringing him onto the breast, but his latch could be even better. She showed me what she called “the deep latch technique” that helped my baby take more breast in his mouth than I thought possible. Having him on so far was more comfortable for me, and it helped him draw out more milk.

But my baby didn’t like how it felt. The breast reaches farther back into the throat than a bottle, and he wasn’t used to it. I had to hold him forcefully to prevent him from pulling  his head backward and weakening the latch.

So we finger-fed. After breastfeeding, instead of giving a bottle of supplemental milk, I would bring him to my mother or husband for a finger-fed supplement while I pumped. They would stick their index finger waaaay back in his throat while injecting supplemental milk into the corner of his mouth with a special syringe. When he sucked the finger, they would release milk. When he paused, the milk flow stopped.  He gagged at first. This was hard to do, (my husband says this is a huge understatement!) but it helped him learn to accept the breast.

But he sucked lazily at the breast, perhaps because he knew more milk would be coming after the breast to fill him up. And because I still wasn’t making enough milk.

Make more milk.

My milk supply was low from the very beginning, for a number of reasons. At 5 weeks, the lactation consultant’s scale told us that he only took 1.9 oz from both sides after 45 minutes of nursing.  I took herbal supplements to increase milk supply and pumped with a hospital-grade breast pump after feedings to stimulate milk production. By 6 weeks, I had enough milk that we stopped the supplemental formula. His supplements after nursing were nothing but pumped breast milk.

But by 8 weeks, he still wasn’t nursing efficiently enough to get a full feeding at the breast. The lactation consultant taught me how to use a supplemental nursing system (SNS), a contraption that delivers supplemental milk through a tiny tube at the breast while the baby nurses. It speeds up the flow of milk,  making him suck more vigorously, which in turn stimulates more milk production.

Happily ever after

So there you have it. I gradually increased the number of un-supplemented breast feedings until he was off all supplements and taking nothing but the breast at the age of 4 months. At 6 months, I went back to work, pumping milk for his bottles, and nursing while home, and now at 14 months we’re still breastfeeding mornings, nights, and weekends. My son loves to nurse, asking for “nuh-nuh”, although he’s so busy playing and his tummy gets filled with solid food, so it’s not as often anymore.

Was it worth it? Yes. Many, many times, I nearly gave up. It was really hard. I couldn’t have done it without help from family and encouragement from my pro-breastfeeding friends. But this is what motivated me to stick with it. Knowing that my baby would be as healthy as possible. That once we got the hang of it, nursing at the breast would be so easy; ready anytime, anywhere with no preparation or cleanup. That I would have this special way to comfort and soothe him throughout his infancy and beyond.

Again, my story is not a formula to solve the problem of breast refusal. There are a number of approaches to coaxing a bottle-drinking or supplemented baby onto exclusively nursing at the breast. Read a great article about that here. And if it’s just not working, a lactation consultant may have a solution.

Did you have difficulties in breastfeeding? How did you overcome them? What motivated you to persevere?

Other Carnival of Breastfeeding Posts:

Breastfeeding 1-2-3: The importance of a babymoon

The Motherwear Breastfeeding Blog: Which obstacles have you overcome to breastfeed?

Hobo Mama: Supplemental feeding techniques for a breastfed baby (some of the same techniques I used!)

Whozat: A rough start

Maman A Droit: Clueless!

Jessica Montalino: Motherhood: Week 7 and our breastfeeding experience

Breastfeeding Moms Unite: I’ll be brief: How to overcome breastfeeding challenges

Living Peacefully with Children: When nursing takes longer

Good Enough Mum: Tounge tied and twisted

Mama’s Herb Garden: Nine things your nipples wish you knew about them